i don't believe that you don't know what's going on with me.
you and i know each other only too well.
the way you suddenly get interested with what i'm gonna say makes me doubt your "ignorance" even more.
and here you are telling me i'm acting weird when all i'm trying to do is act as if i'm happy 'coz i know that if i act out the way i feel you'd get affected and you'd get all "emo" and shit, and i'd be the reason of the delay of your happiness.
and i don't want that to happen 'coz you're my freakin' friend and i want you to be happy.
why don't you just spare us both all the bullshit and stop pretending that you know nothing.
i know you know what my problem is.
it's obvious that you do, you always avoid me when our conversations lead to that topic.
it hurts when you suddenly ignore me but now i'm actually getting used to it.
at first,i was just trying to understand that it's your way of dealing with things but now i'm no longer interested about what your explanations might be.
i'm actually getting used to not having you around, and i hope that this numbness will last 'coz i know that in just a short while you wouldn't need me anymore and i'd have to own the strength to not need you.
you're so unfair, i always tell you everything.
i've chosen not to keep anything from you while you always let me guess.
and the worst thing is that you don't actually tell me if i guessed correctly.
you know you can trust me with anything and i don't really get why you have to keep things from me.


this entry doesn't really make sense any more.
maybe it's due to the fact that i don't either. ^^